i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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