I skipped work to stalk him.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
