I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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