Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
