oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize