hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Drunk is not a location!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
