I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
