Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
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You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
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It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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