Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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