Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
