we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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