if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
