I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
