I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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