She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
