my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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