I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Damn victory sex feels great
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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