Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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