At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
