I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
