her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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