is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
