Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
