I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
