Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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