All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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