She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize