I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You've changed since you got that strap on
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize