I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
