I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
