she was so not down for the gang bang
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
