I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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