We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Randomize
