I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
