I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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