You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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