Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
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I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
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I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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