Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
