Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
