what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
