I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
