the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
