A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
