She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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