You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I looked at my own cervix.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize