corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
