I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
