Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
please come you make the beer taste better
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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