so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
