its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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