Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
only you would photoshop your dick
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
