So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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