I can tuck mytits in my pants
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He did a backflip because drugs
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
