Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
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