I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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