i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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