...so i touched it.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
