Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
